Cancer Graduation Day

It finally came. The day I've been looking forward to for 10 years. I went to see my oncologist yesterday and she said, "Congratulations. You have graduated from oncology." Oncology -- the study and treatment of tumors. The field of medicine that is devoted to cancer. About a month ago I went to the breast surgeon's office and she said, "You don't need to come back anymore unless it gives you peace of mind to keep coming." No thank you, I told her, I will not be back. I am done with … [Read more...]

Regrets and Do-Overs

While in Utah visiting my family, my sister and I got into a conversation about regrets. What do I regret? What kinds of things would I do differently if I had a few do-overs? Do I regret filling yards of surgical tubing with water and spraying an apartment full of poker-playing boys in college? No. Do I regret filling up my first semester of college with classes like trampoline, tennis and dance? Or making a spontaneous decision at 9 p.m. at night to load my car with college … [Read more...]

Happy Mother’s Day

It's hard to admit, but I remember a time when I wondered if I wanted to be a mother.   I thought I lacked the natural maternal desire.   It just didn't grab hold of me with the urgency and excitement I thought I should feel.   It didn't help that I grew up in the women's liberation era when motherhood was characterized as the most unsatisfying job on the planet.   Women spoke of motherhood as drudgery, and the common belief was that there was more to … [Read more...]

Milestones and Proud Mamas

Today my daughter, Sara, graduates from college. This milestone brings to mind so many memories... When I took her to orientation day at preschool to meet her teacher and classmates, she walked away from me to interact with the other children. She kept looking back at me, surely needing reassurance that I was still there. Then she walked up to me and said, "Mom, it's time for you to go home now!" I pointed out that parents had to stay. "Why? I'm fine. Just go home and pick me up later." … [Read more...]

Bucket List Mania

I downloaded some worksheets that included some prompts to help me create a bucket list. The first worksheet I read was titled, "100 Things to do before I die." The Cornell Legacy Project found that the “wisest elders” among us say that creating and pursuing bucket list goals is something that brings nothing but rewards throughout life. But, not having one, results in regrets and missed experiences. I felt like I needed a bucket list because I certainly cannot live my life regretting my … [Read more...]