To blog or not to blog

Today is one of those days when I want to blog, but I’m not sure it’s a good idea.

I want to blog because I want to whine, complain, and rant.

Those are usually not good reasons for blogging.

But, since my fingers are moving so quickly, I will respect the urge to write.

Read on at your own peril.

It all started with the brave goal of standing on the scale this morning after a weekend of too many indulgences.

Stunned by the number staring back at me, I went on a what-is-wrong-with-me, why-can’t-I-do-anything-right mental rant.

I spent a good amount of time over the weekend planning healthy menus for our upcoming beach trip.

The problem is I went to Pinterest for ideas.

Really? Pinterest?

Who ever thought Pinterest was a good idea was crazy.

Pinterest is where you go to either dream your time away, plan things you’ll never do, find foods you should never eat, and see all the things other people are doing that make you feel like you are the most untalented loser in the world, living in the most drab house on the planet, and wearing the dullest wardrobe ever created.

(I told you I was going to rant and whine, didn’t I?)

Seriously, pinners, do any of you have any business making homemade Butterfinger candy bars or Caramel cream cinnamon puffs? And who pinned the recipe for one-minute peanut butter syrup?

Why does anybody need to make one-minute peanut butter syrup?

And who in their right mind puts something so fattening and artery clogging on pancakes or ice cream anyway?

That’s ridiculous.

What’s in a one-minute peanut butter syrup anyway?

Oh, peanut butter and honey in equal portions. You microwave it for a minute and it melts together into a gooey syrup.

That’s disgusting.

But, of all the miracles in the world, I actually had peanut butter and honey, so I plopped a tablespoon of each together in a bowl and off it went into the microwave.

Just like the recipe says, it’s the consistency of syrup and for some unknown reason at 9:30 at night, it looked delicious.

With no pancakes and no ice cream available, I remember one little delectable brownie I didn’t send home with the missionaries after we had them over for dinner.

I rarely make desserts because Doug and I are the only ones around to eat them,  but I heard the missionaries at church talking about how they craved chocolate.

So, for the missionaries, I hunted for the Miss Piggy recipe book for the brownies that requires only unsweetened chocolate, which is the only chocolate I had in the house.

So, there I was on Sunday night with one Miss Piggy brownie and a bowl of fat-laden Pinterest peanut butter syrup.

Do I have to explain what happened next?

Suffice it to say, it all came back to me this morning on the scale.

Yep, Miss Piggy and I are soul mates.

And, it’s all because of that stinking Pinterest.

As I ranted about the scale, my insatiable sweet tooth, the lure of Pinterest, and my lack of self-control, I thought of the book Daring Greatly. (I’ve mentioned this before in other blogs.)

I remember how Brene Brown’s research showed that women feel overwhelming pressure to be thin, beautiful and perfect. (Oh really?)

And, when we fail at those ideals, the “shame” tapes of self-doubt and self-criticism start playing loudly in our heads. (Another,Oh, really? These conclusions are not new, are they?)

I thought of all her tips on shutting down the ninja-warrior gremlins that move into our heads — talk to yourself the way you would talk to a friend who is in the middle of a meltdown — you’re okay, we all make mistakes, blah, blah, blah.

Clearly, that wasn’t going to work. Not today. Not after the one-minute peanut butter syrup on top of the appropriately named Miss Piggy brownie.

Sometimes, I think we just need to own the anger and then, get it out of our systems.

We can practice all the positive psychology garbage we want and we still just feel mad, disappointed, or frustrated.

And, you know what?

That’s okay.

Sometimes it’s harder to wear the “everything is okay” mask  or remember the self-help tips from some expert than it is to just have a little tantrum and move on.

So that’s what this blog is really all about — wallowing in my Pinterest peanut butter syrup melt-down and the resulting Miss Piggy-ness of it all.

And, you know what?

I feel better.

I feel better because I’ve ranted, admitted my foolishness, and haven’t even pretended to be something I’m not.

If you are a regular reader of mine, you know I am trying to embrace the reality that I will never be perfect, and neither will anybody else, so why not admit it, lose the shame over it, and get on with what looks to be a beautiful day ahead?

It’s not Miss Piggy’s fault I made the brownies. And, it’s not Pinterest’s fault I made the syrup.

It’s time to lace up my walking shoes and make this a better day.

Oh, and in all my negative ranting, I failed to recognize that I hiked around Roosevelt Island and went for a bike ride… See I’m working on those negative tapes in my head. Are you working on yours?