Family, Memoir, Relationships

Remembering the good stuff

I recently read a blog by Michael Hyatt titled “We are what we remember.”

I’m intrigued by this concept and title and how our memories define us.

In many cases, we can choose the memories we want to keep and, hopefully, we choose the good ones.

When I look back on my years as a mother of young children, the days of drudgery are a blur while the moments of joy shine brightly in my mind.

I remember going to the town festival, riding carnival rides, eating snow cones and watching fireworks.

An assortment of rides at the Royal Melbourne ...
An assortment of rides at the Royal Melbourne Show. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I forget how mad I was when the girls cried when it was time to leave.

Hadn’t I done everything to create the perfect day for them?

Yet, at the end of it, instead of thanking me profusely, they cried and wanted more.

I laugh at how disappointed I was that day. And, when kids are having fun, they never want the fun to stop, right?

I’d rather remember them giggling as they spun around on the Tilt-a-whirl than crying because it was time to go home.

When our girls were home for the summer, we talked about curfews.

One of our daughters always came home on time. The other one never did.

(If you know my kids, you can guess which one was chronically late — always with a good excuse, of course!)

I remembered all those late nights we spent waiting for them to come home safely.

But, I don’t remember the fatigue, frustration, and mounting fears that came with the waiting.

(Okay, I do remember it, but I can smile about it now.There is no end to a mother’s worry.)

Thankfully, they always got home safely, and my spirit always relaxed when I knew they were sleeping peacefully down the hall.

Mark Twain said, “I’ve had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened.”

A portrait of the American writer Mark Twain t...
A portrait of the American writer Mark Twain taken by A. F. Bradley in New York, 1907. See also other photographs of Mark Twain by A. F. Bradley taken in March 1907 in New York on Mark Twain Project Online. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Thankfully most of the things I’ve worried about haven’t happened either.

I know that time has a wonderful, miraculous way of making most things better.

But, when you are in the midst of difficulty or worry, it’s hard to be patient with time.

It can be pretty darn miserable to wait for time to pass when you desperately need to feel better and move forward.

The waiting can be torturous.

Cancer treatments spring to mind — UGH.

I’ve shared my favorite quote on this blog before, but it can never be shared too often.

“Everything will be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end.”

In other words, keep moving, keep fighting, don’t give up hope. Everything will work out.

In Hyatt’s blog he said, “What seems awful will soon seem manageable.”

He said, “We live up to the narratives we tell ourselves.”

Narrative Ecology Framework
Narrative Ecology Framework (Photo credit: Crystal Campbell)

For now, my narrative is this:

No matter what happens, I’ll never lose hope.

I’ll take something good from everything that happens, and move forward, cherishing the lessons I learn along the way.

Life is never easy, and we don’t always get what we want, but time really does miraculously bless, heal, and restore us.

While making friends with time is one of life’s greatest challenges, it delivers life’s most precious gifts.

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